Becky in Blunderland
by glowin-theSHARK
Summary: Chapter 4 is finally up! After our favorite crime-fighting duo has an argument, Bob has gone missing and Wordgirl is trapped in a very bizarre world! Can Wordgirl find her sidekick and restore amends? And why do the inhabitants of this strange place seem eerily familiar?
1. Introduction

_**Hello all. If you haven't guessed already, this is my little retelling of Alice in Wonderland with a Wordgirl twist. I plan of taking bits and pieces from the animated Disney movie as well as the actual book, just so you know. I've had this idea in my head for a while now, so I figured I'd finally work on it.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Wordgirl nor Alice in Wonderland. Wordgirl belongs to Soup2Nuts while Alice belongs to Lewis Carrol**_

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><p>The audience members were quickly ushered into their seats as the theater darkened.<p>

The show was about to begin.

As the spotlight fiddled around, finding it's positioned place, a few harsh whispers could be heard to silence any last minute conversations. Finally, the curtains rose and a few awkward claps came as a well-dressed man, whose head wasn't visible on screen, walked up to the microphone.

**Hello ladies and gentlemen!** The man announced. **On behalf of the entire cast, I would like to welcome you all to this special treat tonight. I am the Narrator and I'm here to move the story along. Without me, it would pretty much sit there and not make any sense. **

**That being said, this week's episode is very special for two reasons. One; I am actually partially visible for a brief moment. Two; in our effort to enlighten public mind of true literary classics, the cast has spent tireless hours working to present the following episode based on the timeless story of **_**Alice in Wonderland.**_

**We also have a special guest that will be joining us tonight. I'm sure we all know Todd 'Scoops' Ming. **

At the mention of his name, Scoops emerged from behind the curtains and waved cheerfully to the audience. "Hello all! Normally, I'm on the prowl for informative tidbits to share with you, but this week's been slow, so I've decided to try my hand at theatrical reviews!"

**Though, quite honestly, he's here because we couldn't find a good role for him to play,** The Narrator mumbled as the boy made his way to his seat. **So, without further ado, please join Scoops and I as we sit back and witness the first, and possibly **_**last**_** viewing of **_**Becky in Blunderland!**_

The audience courteously applauded.

And as the screen faded to black, the Narrator's voice could still be heard. **Oh, and while you watch, look for the words **_**surreal**_** and **_**context.**_


	2. Chapter 1

_**Here is Chapter 1. **_

_**:3**_

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><p>It was a lovely Saturday afternoon, and it was one that Becky Botsford just couldn't resist spending outside. There wasn't a cloud to be seen! The air was warm and pleasant, and the sky was especially blue. But more importantly, the crime level in the city was low for the time being. Becky knew she couldn't be able to pass up a peaceful opportunity such as this. There was no telling when another chance would come her way again!<p>

"Isn't this great, Bob?" She sighed to a monkey in a diaper. "Just feel that warm air in your face and listen to that peaceful silence that isn't disturbed by shrieks of terror or large rampaging robots! It seems that crime is taking a holiday today!"

Bob gave a slight nod and quickly whipped out a large trunk from behind him, giving her a large smile as he did so.

"Well, I _would_ like to help you with your costume collection, but I've got an unread book that's begging me to read it and that tree is politely asking me to sit under it."

Her primate companion's smile fell and he gave a small shriek of disapproval.

"Technically I never actually _promised_ to help you. You asked me as we were fighting the Butcher, so I wasn't really paying attention."

The monkey grumbled.

"To the contrary," She assured. "I am very interested in seeing all the costumes you've gathered over the years, Bob. I would just like to read my book first!"

Bob gave another low grumble, but in defeat. He decided not to press the matter further and opened up his trunk. Assuming she was safe to leave, Becky skipped over to a comfortable spot under the tree in the Botsford's backyard. Resting her back against the trunk, she quickly settled and flipped open to page one. While she would normally use her rapid reading skills to speed through her novel, she was going to go the 'old-fashioned' way and read each word one at a time. Granted, it was a painfully slow process for a Lexiconian, but Becky was determined to prolong this lazy day as long as she possibly could.

Our hero had barely reached the end of the fourth sentence, when Bob called for her attention and began posing.

Becky halfheartedly looked up from her book, but eagerly went back to her story. "Oh, that's nice Bob. I remember your cowboy costume. That's... it's really good on you... yeah... cowboy..."

At the end of the fifth sentence, Bob called out to her again.

"Very nice, Bob. Yeah, that one's a keeper..." She said, still looking at her book.

Her monkey gave a growl of annoyance.

"I did look at you!" Becky replied. "You're wearing your... uh... pirate one!"

_"Shriek squeak squeal!"_

"Actually, I don't think that using my super-amazing eye-sight would be considered cheating!"

_"Squeak!"_

Becky's eyes finally tore themselves away from the page and glared angrily at Bob. "No I'm not! You take that back, Bob!"

Her monkey companion only folded his arms and sniffed.

The girl couldn't contain her temper any longer. With her face almost scarlet red, she rose to her feet and boomed, "Bob! Right now, you are the most... _FRUSTRATING_ primate I know! I've worked hard all day, EVERYDAY, and I often do it alone! So I would like to read my book in peace without any interruptions! Especially if I have to watch you try on some dumb clothes!"

After all of that came out, the world turned silent. Nothing happened. The birds stopped chirping, the bees hovered frozen over the flowers, even time seemed to pause as these two loyal friends were now in the midst of all this tension. Bob only stared in shock, but soon it melted away and was replaced by anger of his own. He began shrieking and growling, trying to get her attention, but she was now intentionally keeping her head in her novel, avoiding any eye contact with Bob. After a while, the monkey finally threw his arms in the air, growled in frustration and angrily took his trunk inside the house, slamming the door as he did so.

"Finally!" Becky muttered harshly. "All I want is one day alone time! Is that too much to ask?"

**You probably hurt his feelings, you know...**

The girl looked up as the Narrator finally spoke.

"Oh, fine time for _you_ to join us!" Becky mumbled.

**It was kinda awkward to watch the two of you fight. Those comments were pretty harsh.**

"Bob just takes things way too personal!"

**Maybe so, but saying you didn't want to help him with his 'dumb clothes?' Wouldn't you also feel upset?**

"No, I wouldn't." Becky answered matter-of-factly. But then she started to ramble. "And that was taken out of context! I said that I didn't want ANY interuptions! And that would _include_ Bob's costume collection! I'm not saying his is the ONLY thing I would not join! And I didn't mean to say 'dumb' clothes! It just sorta slipped out! You know how it is! Being all tired and angry! You say things you don't mean! I've been working so hard, I'm just frustrated that I CAN'T FINISH MY BOOK IN PEACE!"

There was a brief moment of silence. And then, in a soft, quiet voice came: **Bob has worked very hard too.**

This seemed to set Becky aback. She had felt justified. Fighting all of those villains had made her very tired. She practically deserved this little break! But in her anger, she had forgotten that little detail; Bob was there too. He fought those villains right beside her and just as fiercely. Becky pondered all of this and gave a little sigh. Perhaps the Narrator was right. Perhaps she was very harsh with her loyal sidekick. She deserved her time, but he did as well. This was the only time they could enjoy their activities. And maybe his activity was to spend time with her outside of their duties.

Becky thought of all of this, and eventually gave a little sigh. As soon as she was done with this chapter, she decided, she would go and apologize to Bob. That would at least give some time for the both of them to cool off.

She settled herself back into a comfortable spot against the tree and began where she left off. Becky was reading at a slow pace. Each word on the page would go across her mind... bit by bit... she read every single, solitary, individual, eeiny-weensy... last... word... on the page... as if... every... word... was... so... important... to... the... s t o r y ...

t h a t...

t h e y...

c o u l d ...

n o t...

b e...

i g n o r e d.

A small thump on the grass startled Becky and she snapped herself awake. Had she been asleep? She rubbed her eyes and waited for them to focus once again. As soon as they did, they caught sight of a monkey in a diaper wearing a rabbit suit.

"Oh, Bob! ... it's you." She yawned. Becky stretched her arms and gave a weak smile. "I'm glad you're here. I want to apologize to you for what I said earlier. I shouldn't have been so cross with you. But I honestly didn't mean any of those harsh words I said. I want you to know that I..."

But she stopped herself. Bob didn't seem to respond to her, and this had her beginning to ask questions.

"Bob? Are you alright?"

The monkey didn't answer.

"Are you still mad at me? I've been trying to apologize, what more do you want me to do?"

Again, Bob didn't respond. In fact, he didn't even blink. His face was blank and expressionless, and it made Becky worry.

"Bob? Huggy? ... Look! I'm very sorry! I-I... I'll make it up to you!" At this point, the girl rose to her feet and attempted to go towards him. "Hey! I'll even help you with your costumes! I mean, this one you've got on looks very cute on you! I don't even think I've ever seen this white rabbit one before!" She started to chuckle as if it would lighten the mood, but when it did nothing, the superhero began to panic. "Oh, please Bob! Please answer me!"

Becky tried to place a hand on his shoulder, but the monkey did not respond to her touch, and remained as an emotionless statue.

The anger started to return, and as a few tears threatened to brim over the surface, Becky shouted, "Look! I said I was sorry! I didn't mean it! _What more can I do for you, BOB?"_

This outburst finally snapped a response; Bob shrieked in fear and bolted.

"Bob? BOB?" She gasped as she watched her friend flee from her. For the first time, in a long time, Becky felt an emotion that was very rare for her:

Fear.

This girl had fought against countless villains, battled monstrous robots, each more powerful than the last. She had stood up against many obstacles of justice without so much as batting an eyelash. But as she watched her trusted friend run in terror, a large black-hole developed in the pit of her stomach. Fear of losing her sidekick tugged inside of her and a throbbing pain strangled her heart. But she didn't allow herself to wallow in pain. She just couldn't. She was Wordgirl, after all! There was nothing Wordgirl couldn't handle!

At least, that was what she hoped.

After touching her emblem and shouting her familiar catchphrase, Wordgirl made the attempt to find Bob with all of her super-senses, but he had not gone far. As she flew up to get an aerial view of her house, she found the monkey grabbing at the backdoor and entering. She did the same, and soon discovered that Bob had bolted into the basement.

"Bob!" She called out, peering into the darkness. "Bob! Please come back! I just want to talk!"

With her keen vision, however, she could tell that her primate companion was no longer there. Where could he have gone? Hadn't he come in here a second ago? Our hero cautiously tip-toed her way through the random boxes of junk, whispering Bob's name repeatedly. It was in vain, for there was nothing that answered her desperate calls.

"I give up!" Wordgirl groaned. She rested herself against a stack of boxes. "I guess I really hurt Bob's feelings this time." All of her sadness was once again welling up into frustration. "Ooooh! And this day was going so well and now...!" She caught sight of a vase, and in her anger, she kicked it across the basement. Shards of porcelain speckled across the dark cement after it crashed against the other wall. "Now it's just a horrible nightmare! I just don't see how things can get any worse!"

Unfortunately, Wordgirl spoke too soon. As if on cue, the shards of vase started to levitate off the floor and began swirling around her, going faster and faster and lifting her up as they did so.

"I just HAD to open my big mouth, didn't I?" Wordgirl sighed, but then she began to grow amazed and slightly uneasy as this strange event was unfolding. She just could not comprehend it!

Suddenly, just as soon as the shards began swirling, they stopped in mid air, and hovered for a second. Then, they immediately began falling back towards the ground, and Wordgirl did too.

"What is this?" She gasped. She tried flying away, clawing the air for something, _anything_, she could cling onto. But it was no use. Gravity held her feet tight and pulled her down with ease. As she came inches closer to the ground, our hero braced for impact, expecting to smack hard against the cement.

Seconds passed.  
>Minutes.<br>Nothing happened.

Wordgirl finally opened her eyes, only to realize that she was still falling. But she was now falling _under_ the basement! The Lexiconian girl could only stare in amazement as she watched the floor above her slowly close over, trapping her in her seemingly endless fall.

"Well, this is very surreal!" Truer words have never words been spoken by our hero. She glanced around her surroundings as she went down. The walls were becoming more colorful and swirly as random objects would pass her by. Wordgirl saw sandwiches floating in the air, sparkly unicorns prancing and frolicking, spinning wheels of cheese, a floating bee wearing a large hat, and few robots playing poker on a floating card table. One of them looked up from its cards and waved at her, but she only gave a confused look in return.

"Any help here?" Wordgirl asked the Narrator.

**Sorry. I've got nothing. **

This didn't help her. "Well, things are extremely surreal! This doesn't make any sense! ... And why am I suddenly in a _dress?_" She had now noticed that instead of her usual crime-fighting suit, she was now wearing a bushy dress and an apron that was fluttering gently. "It's all very surreal, indeed!"

Her fall seemed to last for eternity, but eventually, her feet came upon a firm surface and the hero landed effortlessly.

"Well, SLAM!" came an obnoxious cry.

Wordgirl whirled around, trying to find the source of the voice, but there was nothing around her that could have made that noise. Nothing except a small door with a curious design carved into it. To be honest, the image reminded her of someone. The carving resembled a large person with a viking helmet and cowboy boots.

"You just came a'SLAMMIN' in here, didn't ya, ya SLAMMER?" The door whooped. This caused Wordgirl to jump back in shock.

"SLAMMER down, little SLAMMER!"

"Excuse me?" She asked.

"You SLAMMED in here, SLAMMER, and I'll be SLAMMIN' if I didn't SLAM my SLAMMER enough times to say that you SLAMMERED your SLAMMER SLAMMER!"

"Uh, I beg your pardon, but you make absolutely no sense."

"SLAM! I'm just SLAMMING' what's on my mind! It's not my fault you can't SLAM my SLAM!"

Wordgirl was beginning to figure out who this bizarre door reminded her of. "And who, may I ask, are you?"

"I'm the SLAMMER!" The door cheered triumphantly.

"I gathered." Our hero rose to her feet and looked around. The room that surrounded her looked very pretty. A soft pink color was painted on the walls and a small lamp was the only thing that lit the area. But there were no windows or doors. Except for the SLAMMER.

"I don't suppose there is another way out of here besides you." She sighed.

"SLAM no!"

"Well," She tried reasoning with her self. "If I can fly, I'm sure I can get out the same way I came in!" Desperate to avoid entering this bizarre talking door, she leaped into the air, attempting to zoom up. It didn't happen. As soon as she was airborne, our hero landed with a large WHUMP on her behind. Still determined, Wordgirl repeatedly tried again.

After the twentieth attempt, a large scarlet blush tainted her face and she rubbed her now sore backside. This was heavily embarrassing. What was worse, the SLAMMER began laughing at her pitiful tries.

"You can SLAM all you want! But you'll notice that there ain't no SLAMMIN' exit that you can use to SLAM away, silly SLAMMER!"

Wordgirl glanced upwards, and sure enough; there was a pink ceiling not far above her.

"But that doesn't make any sense!" She protested. "I could have sworn I fell into here!"

The SLAMMER just shrugged. "Ain't of my SLAMMIN' concern. Now are you going to SLAM me and go on your way?"

"Well, if by _'slam'_ you mean 'open,' then I'm not sure. I'm looking for a friend of mine. Has he, by chance, been through here?"

"SLAM."

"Does that 'slam' mean yes or no?"

"SLAM."

"C'mon! Does that mean yes or no?"

"SLAM."

"_Yes or no?_"

"SLAMMIN' SLAM."

Wordgirl grew annoyed for obvious reasons.

"Yes?"

"SLAM."

"So is that a yes?"

"SLAM."

"No? Is that a no?"

"SLAM."

"IS 'SLAM' ALL YOU CAN SAY?"

"... maybe. SLAM."

Our hero couldn't take it any longer. This was continually becoming a very aggravating day for Wordgirl. "Look! You're not making any sense! Just say 'yes' or 'no!' It's not that SLAMMIN' difficult!"

As small gasp escaped Wordgirl's lips when she realized what had come out of it. But there was only a smug grin on the SLAMMER's wooden face.

"You have spoken the secret word, little SLAMMER. Go on your merry-little-SLAMMIN' way. SLAM!" And with that, the SLAMMER opened up, and revealed another world that Wordgirl had never beheld before. There were beautiful, lush, grassy hills and flowers of every color that gently swayed in the breeze. She could only gawk at the scenery before her, being drawn by all of this scenic beauty. The girl was so enthralled, that she didn't notice she was subconsciously walking through the SLAMMER's entrance.

"It's so majestic!" She turned back to look at the SLAMMER, but he was beginning to close. "No wait!" Wordgirl begged, running back towards him. "You still didn't tell me if Bob came down here!" She was inches away from reaching the door, but the SLAMMER... well, _slammed_ shut.

She was now sealed in this surreal, new world.

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><p><em><strong>Well, there you have it. I hope you enjoyed it, and as always, any reviews would be much appreciated!<strong>_

_**Until next time!**_


	3. Chapter 2

**_Alright you guys! Here is the next part! And I'd also like to thank everyone who have commented so far! Feedback of any kind is most helpful! :D_**

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><p>"So much for relaxing!" Wordgirl muttered. She had begun to wander along the little path that threaded its way throughout a tiny forest. It was indeed beautiful. The various shades of green were speckled in the trees that towered overhead, and colorful birds playfully chased each other as they whistled their favorite tunes. It was very peaceful. Although she had no idea where this place came from, Wordgirl began to enjoy this newfound sanctuary. However, it proved to be short-lived. A sharp cry suddenly came from her feet.<p>

"OW! Hey! Watch it, land mass!"

Immediately, she bent down, and Wordgirl saw a small boy in a mouse suit, glaring at her. She didn't understand why he was so angry, but then she realized she was stepping on his little tail.

"I am so sorry!" She quickly lifted her foot to release him. The little creature grabbed at his tail and began rubbing it gingerly, muttering some words that seemed strong for a kid his age.

The small mouse-boy resembled someone, and Wordgirl rested on her knees to get a closer look at him. She soon discovered why he seemed so familiar. "TJ? Is that you?"

"_TJ?_" The mouse-boy asked in a disgusted tone. "First, you step on my tail, and now you have the gall to call me names? Man! You have some nerve, puke-face! You're just as bad as my big sister!"

"That's definitely TJ." Wordgirl muttered to herself. She tried to lift him up, but he instantly refused.

"I don't need your help! Believe it or not, smaller guys aren't always so helpless!"

"I'm sorry!" Wordgirl started to get defensive. "I was just trying to be nice!"

"Who asked you to be nice?" He snapped. "Who asked you to come 'save the day?'"

"Well, believe it or not, it's my job!" She snapped back.

"Hmmph! You certainly have a funny way of showing it! Stepping on a mouse's' tail, calling him rude names! Oh yeah, I'm _really _feeling the kindness here! "

"Look! I said I was sorry! I didn't mean it! _What more do you want from me, BOB?" _Wordgirl was panting, red anger glazed her eyes and her heartbeat was pulsating harder than it ever had before. The mouse's eyes went wide in surprise, and for a moment, all was silent. After the words registered in her brain, Wordgirl quickly fell back on her knees and released a heavy, frustrated sigh.

"See, there you go again. Calling me names!" The mouse-boy scoffed, but in a much quieter tone than before. He didn't know if he wanted to push this stranger's patience one more time.

Wordgirl didn't respond. She just sat there, staring at the blades of grass. Eventually, after a brief moment of silence, she mumbled, "Sorry. I've just been having a bad day. I have a friend that's angry with me, and now I've lost all my powers." She rested her chin against her folded arms. "I just feel so... so...bad. So... powerless." Ironically, the mighty Wordgirl, with her mile-wide vocabulary, couldn't think of a better word to describe her emotions.

The mouse started to feel a small jolt of pity for the depressed girl. He finally decided to sit down next to her and tried to give a weak smile.

"Well, I don't know if I'd say you're _completely_ powerless..." The mouse-boy lifted up his flattened tail to emphasize his point. "But... in all honesty, I don't think you truly understand what powerless feels like. Not even now."

"What do you mean?" Wordgirl asked, confused. "I can no longer fly, my super-strength and super-speed are gone and I can't think of words as quickly as I used to! Because of that, I'm powerless! Powerless to do my job! Powerless to stop crime! And powerless to save and rescue the ones I love!" Wordgirl was on the verge of tears at this point. "What part of _that_ is not powerless?"

The mouse was silent for a long time. He stared at her sad face, and then shook his head. "You know, you remind me of my older sister."

Our hero was taken aback by that comment. She sniffled, wiggled her hands nervously and gave a slight chuckle. "Oh... heh heh... do I?" She hoped he wouldn't draw the connection, but luckily, he didn't. The mouse only continued.

"She has everything going for her. She's super smart, she's witty, and even strong. And everyone seems to love her..." He gave a sour face and looked away before he finished. "... even _I _love her."

Wordgirl just stared at her brother, or at least this little creature that resembled her brother, again not knowing what to say.

"My sister can influence anyone. She can't fly, or lift heavy things, or fight in cool action poses... but she certainly isn't powerless because she can't do all of those things. Sometimes, I even think she's more powerful than any superhero..." The mouse gave a small, proud smile, but he soon snapped out of it and gave a glare at Wordgirl. "Don't ever tell her I said _any_ of this!"

The girl only shook her head. "Oh, don't worry. I promise," but a small, all-knowing smile found itself on her lips.

"But I think that's why _I_ feel so powerless..." the mouse continued. "My sister can do all these things, and my parents are so proud of her, and I feel I can't compete with that! Everyone thinks she's so awesome, and no one seems to notice anything I do!"

Once again, Wordgirl found herself speechless. This was certainly something she had never heard TJ say, even though he was in a mouse-suit and he insisted he wasn't her brother.

The mouse-boy rose to his small feet and gave another weak smile. "Look, … I forgive you for stepping on my tail and calling me names." His face gave look of sincerity, and then it changed into a small smirk. "But just for future reference, you could stand to loose a few pounds! You carry more weight than you know!"

Before Wordgirl could respond back, the little creature scurried off into the thicket. Any kind and endearing feelings she felt for the little mouse diminished after that remark.

"Leave it to your brother to ruin any touching moment." She grumbled to herself.

As she was continuing on the trail, she thought of that last statement her rodent for a brother had made. It repeated itself over and over again in her mind. At first, she replayed it with annoyance. But soon, she found herself diving more and more into it. For a brief moment, she wondered if there was perhaps a double meaning.

_You carry more weight than you know._

Questions began swirling in her head as she pondered, examining the possibility that she was just as strong and powerful being Becky as she was as Wordgirl. She had always felt her identity was nothing more than a front, to hide her powers until she needed to save the day. However, she was sometimes confused on how she should refer herself as. Was she Becky? Or Wordgirl? Who was she really?

"Who are you?"

The young girl stopped walking when she realized someone else asked that question. Her gaze met a large, red rose with the head of yet another familiar villain. Wordgirl could only stare at the face. The flower looked exactly like Ms. Question, but her head was the only human feature on this bizarre creation. Around her head were large petals, and her body consisted of a thick, thorny stem. It towered over Wordgirl's head, and swayed gently in the soft breeze. In an almost snake-like motion, the thorny plant lowered, so that Ms. Question's head looked her straight in the eye. "Who are you?" It asked again.

"I am Wordgirl." Our hero answered boldly.

"Hmmm..." The large flower did not seem impressed. "Are you great it words?"

"Well, I don't mean to brag..." Wordgirl answered. "But my vocabulary has been described as a 'mile wide.'"

"Is that all you do?"

"No. I also have super speed, super strength, super hearing... the works."

The flower continued to be unimpressed. "Can you prove it?"

"Uh..." Wordgirl looked around, her boldness slowly fading. Had her powers returned? Perhaps the little break she took had 'recharged' them.

She took a deep breath, then slowly exhaled, trying to channel herself into the mood. Then she gave a loud "WoooooOOORD UP!" and leaped into the air triumphantly.

Only to land back on her behind.

The flower held an uninterested expression throughout Wordgirl's struggle. "Is this the extent of your powers? Do you honestly think this is impressive? _This_ is who you are?

"Well, I also have a secret identity..." Wordgirl admitted.

"Are you her, then?"

"No... I mean... yes... oh. I don't know.."

"Why don't you know?"

"Well, it's complicated."

"Why?"

"On the one hand, I can use all of my super powers without hiding them! I can fly and show off my abilities! But, on the other hand, I can lead a normal life as my secret identity. I'm not able to spend time with my friends, my family, or even my _unicorns_ as Wordgirl! I don't know which one is the real me!" The girl was now sitting, mostly talking to her hands rather than face the 'Ms. Question'-like creature.

The flower only responded with; "So, are you Becky or Wordgirl?"

"I don't know." Her reply came as a whisper.

"When will you know?"

For a long time, the girl didn't answer. Her thoughts were beginning to run very deep as she pondered that last question. A melancholy look veiled her face. All that could be heard were the chirping birds and the soft gentle breeze shaking the leaves on the towering trees.

Eventually, Wordgirl stood up. "May I as _you_ a question?"

"Aren't you already?" The flower retorted.

"Have you seen a monkey in a rabbit suit come by here?"

"Who wants to know?"

"Well, _I _do!"

"Does it really matter if I've seen him?"

"Yes, it would!"

"Why?"

"_Because_... it would mean that he is certainly here in this crazy place, and I can finally apologize to him!"

"Why bother?"

Wordgirl was floored with that question. "_Why bother?_ Because he's my FRIEND! He's my trusted companion! My SIDEKICK! I basically ruined our friendship! He's angry with me and it's my entire fault! And now I can't find him, I'm trapped here without any powers to safe anyone, and now I'm trying to defend myself against this annoying talking plant!"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the 'annoying talking plant' started to coil around Wordgirl, swiftly winding itself until it surrounded her. The girl didn't have anytime to react. Weak and defenseless, she could only just stay there as the victim, waiting to be devoured. Ms. Question's face was only centimeters from hers. Wordgirl closed her eyes and awaited her fate. The flower was right next to her ear. And in a low whisper, it asked: "Who. Are. You?"

It took a moment to register, but Worgirl's eyes eventually flew open as the flower began chuckling mischievously and immediately released it's grip of the Lexiconian as it moved away into the tangled bushes.

Wordgirl didn't have time to react, for another voice instantly followed.

"Don't take it personally, kid. That weird flower is always pretty 'quest-onable.'

Whirling around, she caught sight of a large man with a stained white apron and a small paper hat eating a lot of smoked sausages. The smell of the meat was a little too strong, enough to make Wordgirl give a weak cough. He was resting against a large cupcake and gave a nonchalant look at her. To him, it was likely that little event was nothing out of the ordinary.

Wordgirl just gave a large sigh. "And you are...?" She asked, preparing herself to be acquainted with another weirdo. Quite honestly, she was becoming less surprised she was meeting character after character at the drop of a hat.

But the large man just gave a shrug and took a bite out of his sausage. "It doesn't really matter who I am. The idea of worrying about names is just pretty 'redonkulous' if you ask me."

"It's _ridiculous_." Wordgirl corrected.

"Exactly." He agreed.

Instead of pushing the matter further, Wordgirl decided to let it drop. "So... what are you doing here, if I may ask?"

"Well," the man began, "I couldn't help but overhearing your conversation. It looks to me that you are in need of some power 'restorification.'"

"_Restoration?_ You mean you can get me my powers back?" Wordgirl was now interested in what this strange man had to say.

He nodded and then patted the cupcake behind him. "This little beauty can give anyone here their powers back. For example.." The man had now finished his sausage with a large gulp. Then he stood up straight, stuck his finger into the icing, licked it, and then gave a loud shout of 'Prime-Rib Punch!' before Worgirl was bombarded with a pile of prime-ribs that were shot from his hands.

She eventually climbed out of the meaty debris, but she had an excited look on her face. Wordgirl made her way to the cupcake, and cautiously scooped up a small amount of the frosting. After examining it and making sure that there weren't any visible signs of danger, she slowly licked it.

"Hmmm," she commented. "This isn't half bad. It's really sweet!" She turned to look at the man, but could find him. It was then she discovered he was below her. Wordgirl was now hovering over him.

"It works!" She exclaimed in astonishment. "It really works!"

She bolted towards the cupcake again, and began eating more and more of it. It felt so good to her! Finally, after she couldn't eat anymore, she gave a quick, "Thank you!" and quickly zoomed away. The man only shrugged and began nibbling on a prime-rib that he had recently shot out.

"Heh heh heh!" He chuckled to himself. "It gets them every time! I failed to mention that the effects were very 'tempa-marily' affective!"

**Oh dear. I'm sure **_**that **_**won't be a big problem in anyway. **The Narrator commented sarcastically.

Meanwhile, Wordgirl was extremely relieved at this point. She had missed being able to zoom out and fly over everything. And now that she was able to fly once again, finding Bob would be that much easier! She could finally restore amends!

The Lexiconion scoured over the place, using her aerial advantage to see large areas. But the Narrator had the need to spoil this good turn of events.

**Uh, Wordgirl?**

"What?"

**There is something you should probably know...**

"Look, right now, my main focus is finding Bob. I'm sure that what you have to say can wait a little longer."

**But I think that man's words were out of context.**

"I'm just trying to find Bob, here!" Wordgirl snapped. "And I don't have the slightest idea of what you mean!"

'**Out of context;' it means 'without the surrounding words or circumstances and so not fully understandable.'**

"I know what 'context' means! But I saw with my own eyes that the cupcake gave the man his meat powers! And now, I have MY powers!"

**He didn't tell you **_**everything**_**, though.**

"Okay, so maybe it has a weird effect afterwards! Maybe my tongue will turn purple or something! So what? Right now, nothing you can say will deter me from looking for my best friend!"

**How about 'The effect of the cupcake is only temporary?'**

Wordgirl stopped in midair. "Except maybe that..!"

On cue, she felt her powers instantly leave her, and she began plummeting down towards the forest. It wasn't long until she found herself tangled up in the branches of a tree. She was without any powers, any clue as to where she is, and without any means of escape from this twisted place.

**Will Worgirl ever get her powers back? Will she ever find her beloved sidekick and gain his forgiveness? Will she also apologize to our smart and omnipotent narrator for ever doubting him?"**

"Don't push it!" Wordgirl growled.

**Tune in next time to see the second part of this special presentation of **_**Becky in Blunderland!**_

"Oh great! The chapter's over! Could it just get ANY worse?"

**And by the way, your tongue is now purple.**

"... I really need to stop saying that."

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><p><strong><em>Sorry for ending on a cliffhanger! But I guess if this were an actual episode, it would probably be a two-parter. They often seem to end like this. xD<em>**

**_Hope you enjoyed it, and as always, reviews of any kind are most appreciated._**

**_Until the next chapter, then! :3_**


	4. Intermission

_**Intermission**_

While the intermission was underway, the Narrator caught sight of Scoops in the foyer looking at the refreshments.

"Mmm! 'Crazeh-Crunchies!''' Scoops smiled as the teenager behind the counter gave him his candy. "Those are my favorite of the junkfood snacks available here!"

**Enjoying the show, Scoops?**

"You bet! I've been stocking up on my refreshments!"

**How's your story coming along?**

"Just great! Look! I finished the headline: 'Local Theater provides excellent snacks!'"

**Uh... what about the production?**

"Oh yeah. The play's good too, I guess."

The Narrator only sighed, but didn't press the matter further.

The audience members made their way back to their seats once the intermission period was drawing to a close. With all of the snacks now purchased and restroom breaks taken, the second act was ready to begin. People began hushing each other as the Narrator took his place to the front of the stage.

**Ladies and Gentlemen, we are now ready to begin the second act of **_**Becky in Blunderland.**_

Applause sounded once again as the curtains rose for the second time.

**And while you watch, look for the words 'connotation' and 'manifest.'**


	5. Chapter 3

_******Hello all! I'm back. With the jam-packed holiday season now over, things have quieted down considerably and I have more time to finish up on my writing!**_

_**So, here is Chapter 3! :D**_

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><p><em><strong>Chapter 3<strong>_

Trying to free yourself from a tree is one thing. Doing it while wearing a bushy dress is another. And trying to free yourself from a tree wearing a large bushy dress and completely drained of your powers and strength is something else _entirely_. Wordgirl was finding this lesson out the hard way. She would desperately claw her way through the tangled branches that grabbed at her, but once she was free from them, the poor girl would only find herself ensnared in more. She was reaching her final straw.

The harder and harder she fought only caused the pokey fingers of the tree to hold on to her tighter. This was simply infuriating! Angry, she began punching and kicking the branches that enslaved her. In her fit, however, she failed to notice that a small pair of eyes was watching her in the tree. When Wordgirl had lost all of her adrenaline, it decided to speak to her.

"If you continue to struggle, the harder it becomes." It said gently.

"What?" Wordgirl asked the air.

"Just simply walk out." It purred.

"Walk out?" Wordgirl yelled. "I can't do that! I've lost all my powers and I would fall! Besides, I can't move an inch from all of these branches!"

"Just simply walk out." It repeated again.

"That doesn't make any _sense_!"

"Walk out."

Wordgirl was about to protest, but she began to ponder once again. It didn't make sense to just walk out of the tree and expect to be unharmed, but then again, NOTHING in this bizarre place was making any sense. And for some reason, she felt she could trust this voice. It had a soft, feathery feel to it, with a hint of familiarity. The hero held the impression that it truly wanted to help her out of her predicament. So after a quick, "I must be out of my mind," was muttered under her breath, Wordgirl closed her eyes and slowly rose her foot to take her first step. And another. Followed by another. After a slight pause, she opened one eye to take a peek. Then both of her eyes opened wide. She was now on the grass, underneath the tree that once enslaved her!

She looked up and saw no sight of the tangled, gnarly branches but instead saw that she had been in a beautiful cherry tree. In fact, she had fallen into a gorgeous orchard. The petals were all lush and soft, and rows upon of rows of towering pink trees circled around her. It was certainly a lovely sight to behold. But our hero couldn't behold it for very long. Wordgirl had to sit down to take in all that had just happened.

"I could have sworn that this was a dark and dreary place just a second ago! And I just _walked _out of the tree unto the grass like it was just right there next to me? This entire WORLD violates every logical rule in the book!"

"There is only one rule here in Blunderland," replied the soft voice. "And that is to break all of the rules."

Wordgirl looked up to see the provider of the voice and gave a little gasp when it was revealed. In the branch above her strode a pink-and-purple-striped cat. But it was the face that had Wordgirl's mouth open wide in astonishment. "_Violet?_"

"I am the Violet Cat." The feline introduced herself and gave a little bow.

**Well, it certainly explains why the voice sounded familiar,** The Narrator mumbled to the heroine. Wordgirl only gave a slight nod of agreement. Although this entire experience had manifested itself to be chaotic and bizarre, Wordgirl was a bit relieved to see a friendly face, separate from this strange setting she was in. "What are you doing here?" She asked it.

The Violet Cat returned with a puzzled look. "Well, right now I'm sitting in a tree, talking to you." She answered innocently.

"No, I mean, what are you doing in this _place_?" Wordgirl corrected herself. "You just don't seem like you belong in this strange world!"

"I live here." She answered, rubbing in a feline-like manner against the tree trunk. "Don't you?"

"I don't. Quite honestly, I'm here because I was trying to find my best friend."

The Violet Cat gave a gasp. "Oh! The Queen has outlawed honesty here! You have to lie about your motives. It's one of the many laws the Queen has decreed!"

"I thought you said that there was only _one_ law!"

"I lied."

Wordgirl gave a sigh of defeat. Might as well play into their little game. "Well, actually, I'm here on vacation! I come to visit this place every year! And I totally know this place forwards and backwards!"

"You shouldn't lie, you know," the Violet Cat kindly scolded. "It's completely rude. I know that you are trying to find your best friend and that you are utterly lost!"

Wordgirl became flabbergasted. "But you just told me I had to lie!"

"I lied about that too."

It took a moment for the hero to regain her thoughts. She had no idea that her best friend, (granted, the _head_ of her best friend) could be so deceiving! "You certainly have a hard time telling the truth, don't you?"

The feline gave a guilty frown. "Sorry. It's my curse. I just sometimes tell lies without even meaning to. It's very hard to know when I'm being truthful or I'm fibbing. Even _I_ don't know sometimes. That's why I'm here in Blunderland." Wordgirl only replied with an inquiring look. The Violet Cat continued; "It started when I was doing an art project with my friend. We were drawing unicorns and pegasi, our favorite creatures in the world!"

Wordgirl remembered this event. At least the cat wasn't lying about that.

"After we were done, my friend asked me if what she drew looked like a unicorn. And, uh... it didn't look _anything_ close to a four-legged animal. I couldn't tell which end was the head and which end was the tail! My friend isn't really a very good artist..."

"Uh huh..." Wordgirl answered. Her face was hinting a little bit of annoyance at the mention of her failing art skills.

"But, I didn't want to hurt my friend's feelings, so I said 'Sure! It really DOES look like a unicorn! Your art skills are definitely improving, Becky!"

"So you humored her..." Wordgirl concluded, a little hurt that her friend revealed the truth about her artwork.

"Well," the Violet Cat pondered. "She wasn't particularly laughing, so I don't think so..."

"No, no." Wordgirl corrected again. "Humor does mean being amused or entertained comically, often to the point of laughter, but humor can _also _mean that you go along with someone to keep them happy or content. In this case, you _humored_ me... er, I mean, your friend, into thinking that they did a good job with their art project to keep her feelings from being hurt, when it as clearly manifested you thought otherwise."

"Oh! That's good to know." The cat grinned. But then she started to frown. "But ever since that incident, I've been humoring people and telling little lies ever since."

Wordgirl felt a pang of sympathy. "Well, at least it's always with good intentions. And, you told me walking out of the tree would help me get out. You weren't lying about that! That's something, isn't it?"

"I guess you're right!" The Violet Cat replied, brightening up a little.

The hero returned the gesture and gave a smile back to the feline that resembled her best friend. But remembering her objective, she snapped back into her own reality. "Well, as much as I would love to sit and chat some more with you, I need to get back on track and find Bob. You haven't, by any chance, seen a monkey in a rabbit suit come by here?"

"Hmmm..." the cat began thinking. "I think I _might_ have seen one, but I could be lying again."

"Is there any way to know for sure?" Wordgirl asked hopefully.

The Violet Cat was still pondering, when an idea came to her mind. "Well, there is one way! The Badhatter! He knows everything there is to know about everyone. He'll know if I have seen a monkey in a rabbit suit." The cat then pointed to a sign on the right side of the road that said, "Badhatter: The baddest of the bad."

Our hero's face developed a puzzled expression. "The _Bad_hatter? I don't know if I would want to see him..."

"And there is also the Starch-Hare. He knows everyone there is to know about everything!"-Wordgirl only shook her head over the weirdness of that statement- "He'll know if a monkey in a rabbit suit is here."

"Oh, well thank you. I think I'll go and see him." Wordgirl said.

"Of course, he's bad too." The Violet Cat replied.

"But, I don't want to go among _bad_ people!" Our hero protested.

The Violet Cat only smiled. "Oh, you can't help that. Everyone is bad here in Blunderland." As it was talking, the cat's body was slowly starting to fade. Soon, only the cat's smile could be seen. "If you're in Blunderland, then I guess you must be a little bad, too!"

Before Wordgirl could reply, the cat's mouth completely vanished!

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><p><em><strong>So there you have it! The next chapter. Sorry if it seems like it's considerably shorter than the other chapters. Rest assured, though, that the next chapter will be a long one! So stay tuned!<strong>_

_**And, of course, reviews of any kind are most appreciated! :3**_

_**Until the next chapter!**_


	6. Chapter 4

Hey all! I'm very sorry that I haven't updated in practically a year. I got a job last summer, and that has really taken a lot of time out of my writing. But never fear! This fanfic has not been forgotten, and I have been working on it bit by bit all throughout 2012. And one of my New Year's Resolutions is to actually finish the projects that I have started. So, I am back and finishing up my story! Yay! :D

And thank you for those kind reviews and comments. They really inspired me to push myself and keep working on it. I just hope that this is worth the wait.

But enough with the wait! Chapter 4!

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><p>"Well, here it is."<p>

Wordgirl was standing in front of a gate that stood between her and a little pathway winding through a small thicket. The signs indicated that this was where the Badhatter resided. Thirty minutes prior, she had tried to reach the Starch-Hare's burrow first, but found no one home. Instead, there was a note that read; "At a tea party. Gone forever, except between April and Tuesdays." Whatever _that_ meant. The note mapped out the location of the tea party, and hoping that he could be found there, she followed its instructions. The destination was this small, white gate.

However, she saw no activity, much less anyone that could help her predicament. There was no Starch-Hare. There wasn't even a Badhatter. On the gate was another sign that simply stated; "At a tea party. Do not disturb, unless you are disturbed."

"Just my luck!" The heroine grumbled to herself. "The two people who have the answers I need aren't even home!" She was about to turn around in defeat, when she heard booming laughter echoing through the distant cherry trees. Curious, and slightly hopeful, Wordgirl leapt over the gate and proceeded to follow the sound of raucous cackling, weaving her way down the crooked path.

Soon, as the trees began clearing, the plucky heroine finally found herself in the middle of the previously mentioned tea party. And, as you might have figured out this far into the fanfic, the two guests looked familiar. A chubby rabbit with a sandwich head was laughing loudly, as a young blonde boy, sporting dark, round glasses and a ridiculously large hat, was sipping tea and smiling.

They were seated at a large table, surrounded by a multitude of empty folding chairs. It was as if they expected every inhabitant of Blunderland to attend their party! However, it was only the two of them in the middle of the orchard. They didn't seem to mind, though. They were enjoying themselves. The Badhatter was singing little made-up ditties and the Starch-Hare would laugh thunderously at the end of each one, all while they both drank their tea and gobbled down sandwiches.

Slowly, Wordgirl began inching her way towards them, while they continued in their frivolous and silly manner. When she reached the end of the table, she softly cleared her throat and was about to introduce herself, when the Badhatter interrupted her.

"No room."

"Pardon me?"

"He said 'no room.'" The Starch-Hare answered.

"No room for _what_, may I ask?" Wordgirl placed her hands on her hips, not very pleased that this task was already proving to be complicated.

"You." The Badhatter said simply, not looking up from his cup of tea.

"Are you kidding me?" Wordgirl cried. "There are, like, fifty chairs set up here!"

"Actually, there are forty-seven chairs," the Badhatter corrected. "All of which are currently occupied." With that, he held up a small remote and pressed a button. Immediately, a loud rustle came through the trees as a legion of large robots marched single-file towards the tea party. One by one, they settled down and filled up the empty seats.

"See?" The Starch-Hare smiled, gesturing towards the robots. "No room."

Wordgirl glowered. "I don't have time for this!" She threw her hands up in the air and began walking in the other direction.

"Oh, my dear," The Badhatter called out to her in feigned sweetness. "If you leave now, you'll miss out on our wonderful chat! Remind me again, Starch-Hare, on the subject of our conversation. Something about a…. certain monkey in a white rabbit suit?"

The Starch-Hare nodded. "Yes, someone along those lines."

Wordgirl froze in her tracks. Her back was still facing the two of them.

"Besides," The Badhatter grinned. "I would –er, I mean, _we_ would be honored to have such a pretty guest attend our humble, little tea party!" He took off his hat and bowed. Then, as he straightened himself up, he pressed a button on his remote once again, and another robot strode to his master, carrying a large, red, cushy chair that could rival any throne. It was placed right beside the impish boy-genius.

After a moment of debating with herself, the heroine finally whirled around and plodded towards the Badhatter, the glower still on her face. He, on the other hand, was resting his chin on his hand, with an amused smile pasted on his face. This was far too enjoyable for him.

Wordgirl made her way to the fancy chair, plopped down, and folded her arms. "Happy?" She grumbled.

He smiled. "Immensely."

"You know, if you wanted me to join you in the first place, you shouldn't have told me there wasn't any room."

The Starch-Hare shrugged and tossed another sandwich in his mouth. "We know. We just like messing with you."

"And you're pretty cute when you're annoyed." The Badhatter smirked.

Wordgirl responded by giving him the sourest look she could muster, but his smile didn't leave him.

"So, are you going to tell me about Bob now?"

"First, we eat!" The Starch-Hare answered. "Then we talk."

The Badhatter nodded. "Indeed. Here, have some punch, my dear."

Wordgirl scanned the table. "I don't see any punch!"

"There isn't any!"

Immediately the two rogues started laughing at their joke. The Lexiconian was sorely tempted to show them the other definition of 'punch' with her fists, but upon realizing that unconscious bodies have a hard time sharing information, she sat on her hands and gave a forced smile. "Heh. Heh. Let me guess, this is another example of 'messing with me.'"

"Yeah," the Badhatter answered, wiping a tear from his eye. "You must admit, I got you bad!"

Wordgirl raised an eyebrow, "I think you mean; 'I got you _good._'"

"No. He means 'bad,'" the Starch-Hare chimed in.

"But that's bad grammar."

"I think you mean _good_ grammar!"

The girl rubbed her forehead. "I think we may have a difference of opinion on the definition of 'good' and 'bad.'"

The Badhatter cleared his throat. " Good. Adjective. To be desired or approved of, pleasing and welcome, possessing or displaying moral virtue, obedient to rules or conventions, that which is morally right, something or _someone_ pleasant to look at, attractive, or a benefit or advantage to someone or something."

Wordgirl blinked.

But he continued. "Bad. Adjective. Of poor quality, inferior or defective, incompetent, unpleasant or unwelcome, putrid, morally depraved, wicked or naughty." The Badhatter gave a proud smile. "My dear, I'm surprised I've had to define two words already for you. And such simple words, too."

"I know what they mean." She grumbled. "I just don't understand what-"

"It's simple really." The Starch-Hare replied. "It's a matter of … oh, what's the word? Starts with a 'c'…"

"Connotation." The Badhatter answered, taking another sip of tea.

"Yeah! That's it! Connotation!"

Wordgirl furrowed her brow in confusion. "Connotation?"

"Connotation. Noun. It's the idea or feeling that a word invokes in addition to its literal meaning or definition. It can also mean the suggesting of additional meanings apart from literal meaning." The Badhatter recited.

"I know what it means!" She huffed, folding her arms. "I'm just perplexed as to how they can be applied by how you are using them. Where I come from, good is good and bad is bad. And that is that!"

The Badhatter chuckled. "But that isn't that. The definitions give them their meaning, but it's how people use and feel about the word that makes all the difference. They can even change the definition altogether! For example, if someone says that they want the 'baddest, best-looking car there is,' they aren't necessarily using the term 'bad' in its literal meaning, now are they? In fact, it's viewed as a good thing."

Wordgirl had to admit that he had a point.

"Most words have multiple meanings. It's simply a matter of how someone uses that word." He gave a smile. "Connotation."

"And so it is in Blunderland." The Starch-Hare added, through mouthfuls of sandwiches. "The Queen doesn't like the word 'good,' because it gives her a negative feeling. So, we all don't like it, and try to avoid it as much as we can. 'Bad,' on the other hand, is embraced and encouraged because it feels wonderful to the Queen, and to us!"

"You see, my dearest?" The Badhatter smiled again.

"I see." She said, trying to piece it all together. Though, after a while, Wordgirl's head was beginning to hurt. All of this talk about 'connotation' and 'good and bad' was proving to be tiring. She grabbed at her tiny teacup, hoping a sip of tea would relieve her headache. But as she raised the edge of the cup to her lips, a shout rose from inside of it.

"HEY! What's going on here?"

Wordgirl yelped in surprise and tossed the cup away from her, sending it and the inhabitant flying across the table. When it finally landed, a slim, white mouse with wild hair and a small, additional brain emerged. He was clutching his head and stumbling a little from the bumpy ride. "Hey! What gives? Can't an evil, two-brained mouse get some shut-eye without being disturbed around here?"

After blinking for a bit, the Lexiconian finally found her voice. "Terribly sorry. I thought the cup was full of tea! I didn't know you were in there!"

"Well, that's because you didn't ask!" The mouse huffed, brushing himself off. Then as he inspected the cup, he began shaking his small head. "Look at this! The handle's gone now! It's all cracked! Nice going, kid!"

"Great." The Badhatter mumbled into his teacup. "Mother is going to _kill_ me."

Wordgirl started getting defensive. "It was an accident! You simply caught me by surprise! I didn't mean to fling it that far! It just happened! Besides, it's awfully rude to sleep in someone's cup!" Then she turned her glare to the Starch-Hare and Badhatter. "And it's _equally_ rude to not warn someone in advance that a two-brained mouse is sleeping in said cup! This entire fiasco could have been avoided if you had just-"

"Sheesh!" The mouse exclaimed. "Is she always like this? Where did you two find this nagging do-gooder?"

The Starch-Hare just raised his hands. "Hey, don't blame me! _Lover-boy_ here invited her to dine with us!"

The Badhatter was drinking his tea, when he abruptly stopped mid-sip and gave the hare a wry look. "The girl's looking for someone that we happen to have information about, and we want someone to mess with, so why not take advantage of the situation? What's more, she'd undoubtedly have something _interesting_ to bring to the conversation, much more than Bunny-Foo-Foo over there. All he ever talks about is the art of sandwich making! I can't stand to hear another word about it!"

"Oh, and I suppose hearing you explain the intricacies of alarm-clock-based quantum mechanics for a full six hours is the most interesting thing in the world?" The Starch-Hare folded his arms. "I was completely asleep three minutes after you started!"

"Tell me about it!" The two-brained mouse groaned. "I've had to hear the BOTH of you for five months now! And you wonder why I'm sleeping all the time."

The Badhatter huffed. "So you blame me for wanting another guest to liven things up?"

"Are you sure that's the _only_ reason?" The Starch-Hare baited.

The mouse started batting his eyelashes at the boy in the large hat. "Or were you too taken in by her exceptionally dazzling eyes?" He began laughing loudly at him, and the Starch-Hare soon joined in.

**You don't know the **_**half**_** of it! **The Narrator added, adding a chuckle of his own.

"Quiet you!" The Badhatter growled at the sky.

"Face it, kid." The mouse teased. "You're head over heels."

The boy started growing red in face, from both extreme embarrassment and rising anger. "Look, regardless of how breathtakingly alluring her wonderful eyes are, I simply wanted to have another guest attend! A concept that seems to be overly complicated to an overstuffed rabbit and a lethargic rat"

This caused the three villains to start shouting at the same time.

"Mouse! Not a RAT! How many times do I have to say this? There are HUGE differences between a mouse and a rat! A mouse is smaller, for one, while a rat is-"

"And I'm not overstuffed! I'm just big-boned! It runs on my mother's side! I can't help that I'm not as fit as some people are! That's what happens when your entire family lives on sandwiches their whole lives! You start to gain a few-"

"Well, I swear that's the only reason I invited our guest to join us! It's just a coincidence that she turned out to be an incredibly gorgeous creature that defies all description! I was NOT taken in by her captivating gaze, nor her amazing wit, nor the cute dress that is very befitting, and definitely not for the enticing beauty of her face-"

The squabbling between them continued. Wordgirl, throughout this entire ordeal, was resting her head on her hands, rather tired of how long it was taking her to learn about Bob. She was beginning to ponder if she would have better luck just trying to search for her monkey companion by herself than wait for these clowns to give her the information. She sighed and mumbled to herself. "What I wouldn't give to be talking to the Violet Cat right now…"

"Cat?" The argument immediately stopped as the Two-Brained mouse froze. "Did you say…. C- c- cat?" He started bolting around the table in a state of frenzy, shouting out "CAT! Cat! She said 'cat!' Is there a cat here! I hate cats! CAT!"

The Badhatter and the Starch-Hare dashed around the table, trying to catch him. Cups, teapots, dishes, and sandwiches were scattered about as the mouse continued to run about hysterically. Finally, the boy pounced on the frightened rodent, scooped him up in his large hat, and began shouting for someone to fetch the macaroni and cheese. Promptly, the Starch-Hare brought over a pot and lifted the lid. The aroma emanating from the meal floated into the air, and the mouse popped his head out of the hat, completely cured from his fit.

"Hey! Is that cheese I smell? Don't mind if I do!" He dived into in the cheesy pasta instantly. When he surfaced, the mouse was completely yellow. The Starch-Hare then closed the lid to the pot, and set it aside, leaving the double-brained rodent to indulge in his cheesy addiction.

The robots surrounding the table were cleaning up the wreckage as the Badhatter and Starch-Hare were brushing themselves off and fixing up their clothes.

"Well, that was certainly chaotic." The Badhatter commented, placing his over-sized hat back on his head and adjusting it.

"Yeah," the Starch-Hare muttered, trying to untangle his ears from the large knot that entwined them. "But our tea-party has been ruined because of it. If _someone _hadn't said the forbidden word…"

"I get the hint." Wordgirl rose from her chair and was attempting to leave. "Information or no information, I need to find my friend, and I certainly won't find him fooling around here!"

"WAIT! Don't go!" The Badhatter pleaded. He was leaning slightly against the table in an effort to stop her, but after seeing the look the Starch-Hare gave him, he cleared his throat and tried his best to look indifferent and dignified. "Answer three riddles correctly, and I shall relay the information I have about that monkey to you."

Wordgirl stopped again. Letting out a sigh, she turned and shook her head at the Badhatter. "You certainly know how to try one's patience."

He only grinned sheepishly. "Granted. But were you honestly expecting anything different from me?"

Wordgirl just looked at him. Considering the fact that he resembled another robot-building boy-genius that she has dealt with time and time again, he was absolutely right. This type of behavior was expected. Though, if this Badhatter were truly a doppelganger of Tobey, then his riddles would be just as easy to solve, Wordgirl figured. Surely she would answer them easily, and she would be on her way soon. After briefly pondering those facts, she slowly made her way back to the large chair as composed as she could. She sat down gracefully, a proud look on her face. Brushing the skirt of her dress and flattening her apron, she then looked at the Badhatter and said simply, "Proceed."

"What do strawberries and elephants have in common?"

The Lexiconian's arrogant face fell immediately as the riddle sunk in. She was racking her brain to find any similarities between the two. "Uh… let's see. Strawberry… and an elephant… they both… no, that doesn't work… Possibly… no, only elephants do that… Uh… hmmmm…"

"Give up?" The Badhatter asked smugly.

Wordgirl just nodded.

"They're both red, except for the elephant!"

The Starch-Hare snickered as he popped a small sandwich in his mouth.

"Hey! You're cheating!" Wordgirl protested.

"Tut tut, my dear. Remember; _connotation_." The Badhatter reminded.

"Oh yes, of course." She muttered. "Brilliant." Perhaps this would be harder than she thought. She forgot sense had no place here.

"Let's try an easier one for our little girl," The Badhatter said condescendingly, and patted her head. "Why did little Timmy fall of his bike?"

"There are many reasons why he could have fallen!" She responded.

The Starch-Hare looked up and her. "Nuh-uh. There's only one way."

"Then inform me."

"Because his father threw a refrigerator at him!" The Badhatter answered.

Wordgirl groaned.

"Why did little Susie fall off her swing?"

The Lexiconian didn't respond.

"She had no arms!"

"Of course." Wordgirl muttered.

"Let me try, Badhatter." The Starch-Hare told the boy. "Obviously, your riddles are too advanced for her." The Badhatter only smiled and sipped his tea.

"Why did the plane crash?" The Hare asked her.

Starting to notice a pattern, Wordgirl tried to think of something completely random. "Because… the pilot… was a… tomato."

The two of them gave smiles in response. "Correct!" The Starch-Hare replied. "There's one!"

"Okay, next riddle." The Badhatter said. "What is green with wheels?"

"Grass." She answered confidently. "You lied about the wheels."

"Good!" He complimented. "You're improving tremendously!"

"I've been known to do that," Wordgirl remarked, giving him a playful look.

The Badhatter's smile grew wider.

"Final riddle!" The Starch-Hare announced. "Why couldn't the opera singer finish his solo?"

"Because a wild mob of rampaging wildebeests came and took off his head." Wordgirl answered.

The two villains gave the Wordgirl flabbergasted looks, as if she were completely covered in bees and suddenly sprouting horns. Even the two-brained mouse popped his head from his cheesy pot to stare at her.

"No! Of course not!" The Hare finally corrected. "It's because he got laryngitis halfway through his performance."

"Sheesh, kid!" The mouse added. "There's something utterly strange about you."

Wordgirl grimaced.

"Looks like we'll have to start over," The Badhatter shrugged and sat his cup on the little plate. He was about to ask another riddle, much to the displeasure of his very pretty guest, when he heard another sound from behind him.

"Arr. Pardon me, me large-hat bucko, but I've been wondering if ye'd do a small favor fer me!"

Wordgirl was staring at the visitor. He was the spitting image of Captain Tangent, if Captain Tangent was a dodo. Well, if he was an _actual_ dodo. His large pirate hat and eye patch rested nicely on his feathered head, and he held his magnetic hook in one of his gray wings. His parrot, Oscar, fluttered around and landed upon his owner's hat.

The Badhatter didn't seem too pleased to have been interrupted. "Well, I am presently engaged in a pleasant conversation. A conversation that I would LIKE to continue if you don't mi-"

"Tis will only be a second of ye's time. The Un-Birthday Girl will come by and I have a large pocket watch as a present, but wouldn't ye know it, it actually works! I need someone to change that right away!"

After sighing, the boy muttered, "Bring it here." As the watch was handed to him, he began ripping out the gears.

The Captain Dodo thought this was his invitation to share a story with everyone. "Have I ever told all of ye how I got this here watch?"

Immediately, everybody grew tense, sensing that they would hear the tale whether they wanted to or not.

"It all started back around early March as I was sailing the high seas! It was a very rainy day while I was out sailing. It reminded me of another time in March when it was raining, though it wasn't raining as hard as this particular day. And I was reminded of _another _time in March when we had that drought and it hardly rained at all! That drought was horrible. It killed all of me raspberry bushes that I was trying to grow. Which was a real shame, because I was hoping to make raspberry jam. Homemade raspberry jam is me favorite food. Me grandmother would always make bread and put the delicious jam on it. She had so many different kinds of recipes…" The Captain Dodo continued prattling on, unaware of how torturous his story was.

Wordgirl groaned and began banging her head on the table, repeating the mantra: "This is all for Bob. This is all for Bob. This is all for Bob!" She certainly hoped that if she ever found her monkey, he would appreciate all of this nonsense that she was going through to find him. And if this was her punishment for yelling at him, then she vowed she would never do it again as long as they lived.

The Starch-Hare was stuffing his face with sandwiches to pass the time as the dodo engaged in his endless story telling. The Badhatter kept himself occupied by continuing to destroy the watch, now pouring tea into it. But it was evident that the babbling dodo was rapidly getting on their nerves as well.

"…It took several firefighters to finally get it out of me Uncle Jerry's nose," The Captain continued. "But the family reunion turned rather boring after that. Anyways, during the stormy voyage, I crashed into an unknown island that was inhabited by mystics. I had never met any mystics before. There was one that was selling watches, so I took a look into his shop. This mystic walked barefoot most of the time, which I noticed produced an impressive set of calluses and blisters on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet of garlic and onions, he suffered from bad breath…"

Wordgirl looked up at him. "So, what you're saying is that it was given to you by a… super-calloused, fragile mystic hexed by halitosis?"

"Correct, lassy!"

"Ugh. Just the _sound_ of it is something quite atrocious!" The Badhatter commented as he was stabbing the watch with a butter knife

The two-brained mouse popped his head out from the cheese-filled pot. "Sssh! Don't speak so loud! You always sound precocious!"

"Ooh! Oooh! I know this!" The Starch-Hare clapped excitedly and then began singing. "Supercali-…Oh! What's the word?"

Wordgirl groaned and slid her palm down her face. After a moment, she shook her head at them. "You are all completely _mad_!"

The Starch-Hare looked a little puzzled. "Oh, I don't know about that. I don't feel angry or anything."

"No, no. Mad can mean 'irritated or angry,'" She clarified. "But I was using 'mad' in the sense of 'insane, crazy, or foolish.'"

"Ah HA!" The Badhatter exclaimed, pointing a finger at her nose. "See? It _does _matter on how you use the word!" He smiled proudly, rubbing in the fact that he caught her.

Wordgirl was about to protest, but as the Badhatter continued to grin at her, words didn't seem to come out. With a sigh, she gave up and pouted in her chair, her actions admitting defeat.

Not knowing when to stop, the jabbering captain proclaimed, "That reminds me of another story about the time me brother, George, and I were-"

"Well," The Badhatter interrupted, handing the newly trashed pocket watch to the Captain Dodo. "There you are, bad and broken. Now, if you need anything else…" -he gave the dodo a slight scowl- "…please, for the sake of everyone's ears, _hesitate_ to ask."

The oblivious pirate didn't pick up on the boy's subtitle jab. "Oh, I thank ye, landlubber! Ye did an excellent job damaging it. It's just like the time I had me bowling trophies all-"

"Oh, Captain Dodo!" Wordgirl interjected. "Uh… if I recall, on my way here, I saw a large treasure chest, unlocked and completely unguarded…"

The dodo perked at the mention of unguarded booty. "Treasure, ye say?"

"Loads of it." Wordgirl smiled.

"Any jewels?" The pirate captain drooled.

"Perhaps."

The greedy bird started laughing sinisterly at the news. "Well, thank ye kindly, lass. If ye'll excuse me… Oscar, come! There's precious booty to loot!" And with that, he started charging down the path, shouting a string of pirate slang. He continued until at long last, (and much to the relief of the tea partiers) he was no longer audible.

The Badhatter and Starch-Hare stared in the direction of the dodo's departure. "Wow." The Starch-Hare said. "Treasure, huh? I didn't see any treasure on my way here."

"That's because …" Wordgirl grabbed the large hat off of the boy-genus and placed it on her own head, trying her best to imitate the Badhatter. "There isn't any."

Immediately, the two stared at her in amazement. She sat there, pretending like there was absolutely nothing out of the ordinary. However, she was using every muscle in her body to prevent herself from laughing. A moment of silence past, but Wordgirl couldn't contain her growing amusement anymore and began giggling hysterically. After looking at each other, the Badhatter and Starch-Hare joined her, the sound of loud laughter echoing through the cherry trees.

"I'm impressed!" The Badhatter said when he could eventually breathe again.

Wordgirl brushed her knuckles on her chest, and then examined her fingernails. "I suppose you could say that it was pretty _bad_ of me, eh?

"Absolutely wicked." He agreed with a soft, warm smile

Despite herself, she slowly gave a small smile to him in return. Perhaps these crazy rascals weren't so irritating after all. A comfortable and peaceful silence fell over the tea party, as the Badhatter and Lexiconian held the others gaze. However, another interruption quickly diverted their attention. A man wearing glasses and a pony-tail raised a trumpet to his lips, and let out a blaring trumpet fanfare.

"HEEEEELP!" The man bolted towards the three, flailing his arms and trumpet wildly. "A monkey in a rabbit suit has been arrested and is now being tried by the Queen! And he doesn't even have a lawyer! HEEEEEEEEeeeeeelp!" And as soon as his cameo appearance was fulfilled, he left.

"Oh no!" Wordgirl instantly leapt to her feet at the sound of the news. "Bob! I need to save him!"

"It's too late." The Starch-Hare remarked, tossing a sandwich into his mouth. "Once the Queen makes her verdict, it's final. There's nothing anyone can do to change her mind. He may lose his head if she commands it."

A sharp gasp escaped from Wordgirl's lips.

"O-Of course…" The Badhatter rushed to her and patted her shoulders, trying to ease her worry. "But she could _also_ just sentence him to community service if she so desires. It may not be so intense." He began guiding her back to the table. "Why don't we all just relax and-"

"How can I relax when my friend is in danger?!" The girl cried, escaping his grasp. "I need to fix this! It's my fault he's down here! I will not rest until I see Bob free from this crazy place!" And with that, she placed the large hat back on the Badhatter's head, and bolted, determination driving her to run full speed.

"But you haven't even had a single cup of tea yet!" The Badhatter shouted at her, but it was no use. Wordgirl had vanished down the path and back into the trees.

Glumly, the boy-genius eventually made his way back to his seat. The two-brained mouse emerged from the pot again, shaking his small head. "That is one strange, hopeless little girl."

The Starch-Hare nodded, "Yeah. Definitely, definitely hopeless."

"I wonder if she'll ever wear that dress again." The Badhatter just stared into the distance, lost in thought.

The Starch-Hare rolled his eyes, while the mouse gave the boy a sharp look. "And I'm beginning to think she's not the only one."

* * *

><p>Can you tell I had a little too much fun with this chapter? To tell you the truth, I was looking forward to this one the most.<p>

Anyways, I hope it was as enjoyable for you to read it as it was for me to write it. And, as always, any comments or reviews are most appreciated.

Until the next chapter then!


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